More Than A Paper Clip

One day I was at my son’s school for a special walk day at recess. On about the third lap around we noticed there was a teacher handing out paper clips and she asked my son if he wanted one. He didn’t realize that they were supposed to be getting paper clips for each lap they walked. He politely answered, “Yes.” She told him, “Here are two for starting out and then I will give you one more for walking that first lap.” My son kept walking, all the while the wheels were turning in his head. He was thinking over the fact that he had just been cheated out of a few paper clips because he hadn’t started getting them until his third lap. After a few minutes, he looked up at me and said, “I think I will just hide these in my pocket, and then, when I go around again, I will get three instead of only one.” He was quite smart to think about the fact that if he did this, he would again get the bonus two for starting and the one for the lap he had just completed. I guess he figured that then he would no longer be cheated out of what was rightfully his.

I asked him, “Wouldn’t that be lying?” I then continued to talk to him about how that would not be right. As we made our way around to the teacher with the paper clips again, we had to wait for the boy in front of us to receive his clip. The teacher asked the boy, “Was this your first lap?” The boy answered “yes” with a suspicious grin on his face. The teacher, knowing this boy, further questioned him with her eyebrows raised, “Really?” The boy then admitted that, no, it was in fact not his first lap. The teacher gave him the one paper clip he had earned and sent him on his way. (Apparently, there are a lot of clever boys in the third grade.)

It was then my son’s turn. He walked up to receive his clip, and as the teacher handed it to him, he looked up at her and admitted to her, with me, his responsible parent standing by his side, “I was going to do the same thing, so I could get more too.”

I was so embarrassed and humiliated that he would confess this to her. As we walked away, I had started to say, “Why in the world did you just tell her that,” but I stopped myself mid-sentence. I realized I was teaching my son to pretend. He was being honest about what was in his heart, and I was teaching him to pretend. I took a different approach and asked him, “Why didn’t you do it? Why didn’t you lie to get more?” He laughingly answered, “Because you told me not to.” Oh, this was getting better by the minute! So I asked him, “Do you think it should have been because that would have been dishonest? And dishonesty hurts you and hurts other people?” I asked him if lying would have been the “right” choice, and to my relief he agreed it would not have been.

After the laps were finished and it was time to go inside, over fifty kids were circled around the teacher with their hands out, waiting to receive their last paper clip. My son made his way over, but with all the pushing and shoving going on, he kept getting pushed back out of the circle. It didn’t take long for me to realize that it was going to take forever for him to get his last clip. I walked over to him and asked, “Is that paper clip that important to you?” He answered with a no and walked away with me with only four paper clips on his chain. I asked him, “How many laps did you walk?” He wasn’t sure but thought he had done about nine or so. I asked him, “Do you need a paper clip to show how many laps you did today?” He responded with a sincere “no.” He agreed that even if he had gotten one more paper clip, it still wouldn’t have been the right amount. I said to him, “You know how many laps you did, and that is all that matters. Besides what's really important is that we got to enjoy walking together today.”

It was time for him to line up with the other boys and girls in his class, and as we stood there, I realized the paper clips were apparently very important. They did matter to some. One boy had nine paper clips and the girl in front of my son had fourteen. It was a matter of pride. Each child wanted to be the one that had the most when they went back to class. They were trying to find their fulfillment in a paper clip.

I want to teach my children that they don’t need a prize to feel important, that they don’t need to try to be better than anyone, and that they certainly don’t need to pretend. What truly matters is what is going on in their hearts and there is only one thing that can fix all that is broken. And it's not a paper clip. There is only one who can heal why we want to be dishonest and come out ahead, and why we look to others to feel better about ourselves. There is only one who we can find our true identity in. And it's not a paper clip. It is the very person that we were created to get our fulfillment from in the first place. It is the very person that created us.

If you have been taught to pretend, go to Him like a child and confess the dishonesty of your heart, and let Him heal you. He loves you, and He wants to fill you up.  Let your identity be found in Him.

 

The Chase

I remember when my son was about two years old he loved to wander away from me. It used to scare me to the point I would have nightmares that he would wander away while I was feeding my daughter and I would not know where to find him.

When he would wander away I would look all over for him, my heart pounding and fear running through my veins. Then I would spot him and relief would set in. A sense of peace would come over me. And then he would look up and see me. And he would run. Away. Again.

The chase would begin. I would get close to catching him and then he would run the other way. He was afraid to be caught and I couldn’t bear losing him. He was afraid to face punishment and I just wanted to love him and keep him safe. I knew what could happen if he ran into the street. He didn’t. I knew what could happen if he didn’t stay with me, holding my hand. He didn’t. I knew he was worth risking my life for. He didn’t.

Do we understand that our Father wants to protect His children and keep them safe? Do we understand that He knows what can happen to us when we run from Him? Do we understand what can be if we stay with Him and hold His hand? Do we understand that He felt we were worth risking His life for? Do we live like we believe that He couldn’t bear losing us so much that He gave His one and only son to take our punishment?

Stop the chase. Surrender yourself and believe that He loves you and knows what is best. He is chasing you and the price had already been paid. Run into the arms of your Father and live inside the space where He is able to protect His much loved child.