"That's not nice."

One day my daughter came home from a middle school Christian youth gathering. I asked her how it went and she began to describe something all too familiar. My daughter explained that during discussion groups one of the young girls began talking about how she really cannot stand these two girls at school. The girls were mean to her and she really hated them for it.

This probably happens in every social circle in middle school. This is not new and certainly everyone alive has faced feeling hatred for someone who is mean to them. So I asked my daughter, “So what did the leader say to her?” My daughter told me that the leader told the young girl, “That’s not nice.”

Ugh.

I often found this difficult with my own children; to tell them that their behavior wasn’t right without looking into their hearts. To correct them by telling them, “That’s not nice.” However, to truly understand their behavior I must start with looking into their hearts and helping them see their true identity. They are children of God defined by the finished work of Jesus and who they are in Christ begins shaping what they do.

I grieved for this young girl who was opening up about her life. She chose to come into her community group that night and confess the struggling in her heart. Maybe she said it nasty and maybe she wasn’t being “nice”, but I wondered what the church would be like if we responded differently to honesty. I wondered how this young girl viewed her identity in Christ, and I wondered what would happen if she were to respond to these mean girls out of that identity.

Let us believe for a moment that this young girl knew that it was “not nice” to hate people and that is why she opened up. Let us just believe that she wanted to change and that telling someone of her struggle would free her and would allow her to love these “mean” girls. That her small group would understand her struggle. That this gathering would be a safe place to not pretend to be “nice” but to admit when sin was invading her heart. That her group would sharpen and encourage her to live in His righteousness and not her own. In His strength and not her own. That they would point her in the direction of her true identity when the world was trying to tell her lies about it.

It isn’t about being nice or not being nice. It is about giving ourselves to the only one that resisted retaliation of people who were mean. The only one who could overcome temptation and the only one who can heal us from the guilt and the shame that causes us to hide and pretend. Let’s believe for a moment that what this young girl was doing was being honest and that what she didn’t need was a reminder that she is “not nice” but a reminder that Jesus’ love for her is overwhelming. That He paid it all and now she is free to love even those who are mean because they are not her identity. Jesus is.

DieToServe: Reconcile

DieToServe: Reconcile: There they were staring at me like a beacon in the face. I have read these words before. I have even quoted them. But there they were in Romans 5...

Reconcile

There they were staring at me like a beacon in my face. I have read these words before. I have even quoted them. But there they were in Romans 5, “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for the righteous person-though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die- but God shows his love for us that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” I have believed these words for myself. They remind me how much God loves me and how great His love is for all of His people. He died. And not just for me. But He didn’t just die. He conquered death so that I could be reconciled to Him and to give me life.

And yet who am I willing to go to? Who am I willing to die for? Who am I willing to give life to? Would I be willing to sacrifice in order to reconcile with them? Would I be willing to die to myself to serve them? What can wash away my sin? “Nothing but the blood of Jesus.” What can wash away their sin? “Nothing but the blood of Jesus.” Do I believe that? If I did would I worry about my pride? Would I go to even my enemies like Christ did and die for them so they may have life. His sacrificial love not only redeems my life, it reconciles me to Him. So why would I be at odds with anyone? Why wouldn’t I choose reconciliation?

Why would I choose to sit back thinking my enemy wronged me so they should come to me? They should be the one to say they are sorry. They should humble themselves in front of me because they hurt me. They sinned against me. I even want other people to know that they were unkind to me. That they are not as nice as others might think they are. I want everyone to know that, what? That they are sinners? Ha! So am I. Is it not the blood and nothing but the blood? Did it not cover all sin but only those I commit against others? While I was still a sinner Christ died for me. He came to me. He rescued me, from my guilt and shame. From my darkness and despair. He brought me from death to life.

Christ didn’t wait for the wrong to come to Him. He didn’t ask the sinner to clean up his mess before He forgave him. He broke in and was willing to die in our place displaying the ultimate sacrifice. A fragrant love offering poured out for all in order to give life and to reconcile us back to the unity we once had in Him.

So, who am I willing to go to? Who am I willing to die for? Who am I willing to give life to? Would I be willing to sacrifice in order to reconcile with them? Would I be willing to die to myself to serve them? What can wash away my sin? “Nothing but the blood of Jesus.” What can wash away my brother or sister’s sin? “Nothing but the blood of Jesus.” So let me humbly go before my brother and let me humbly go before my sister and ask them to forgive me for the anger I have felt towards them. For we are all sinners who are only justified by the blood of Jesus Christ.