A Parent's Love Cannot Be Explained

Some things cannot be explained. Like how a mother feels about her children or the lengths she would go just to be near them. To embrace them. To care for them. She would drive to the ends of the earth just to lay her eyes upon theirs; to know they are alright. She would spend every penny she had to hug them one more time; to feel a part of them deep within her very soul.

Father, how did you do it? How did you let him go? How did you endure the pain and the hole in your heart while he was apart from you? Was it for me that you chose to suffer the separation from your child? You have given me a chance to have life with you. To be embraced by you. To know you. I cannot believe how I have made this into a vacation. I cannot believe how selfish I have been. I cannot believe that I could not see how deep your love is for me. That it would compel you to lose your child on the account of adopting one that would spit on him and pervert his name.

You would go that far and I just sit back and complain about the cost of following you there. I grumble about how I must wait on you, often without the luxuries I would like to have. I make it seem like I am the one who has to sacrifice and that you are lucky to have me even show up. I treat it like it is a vacation and that I am here for myself. Is it because I believe that what I am going to get out of it is paradise? But God forbid if it rains at all. Have I somehow reduced a life spent with you and made it about the conditions, the event and the experience? Do I just wonder when I will get to bask in the sun, go shopping about the town or enjoy an ice tea from my room with a view?

But you, Father, you made it about a relationship. You have taken me by the hand and taught me that the treasure isn’t found in where I go or what I might see along the way. The treasure is found in simply being reconciled with the one who gave me life. Like a mother who longs to just simply be in the presence of her children no matter the cost. Could it be that the real treasure to be found is in the costly but warm embrace of a kind and loving parent? One that would go to the ends of the earth to turn me around to lay His eyes upon mine. Could it be found in the very one willing to pay it all just to be with me?

Some things cannot be explained. Like how a mother feels about her children or the lengths she would go just to be near them. Father, thank you for going these lengths for me.

Calling Home

As my family sat in church a few Sundays ago, my husband’s phone lit up with an incoming call. I looked down and saw “Kyle” on the face of his phone and then looked at my husband. With overwhelming joy in my heart I whispered, “Go and answer it!”

We wait for that call every week now. Kyle is our first born son who left in November to join the military. He is still in training and at most he gets to call home now once a week. We long to hear his voice and to hear how he is doing. All week he is told when to get up, where to stand, how to stand, when to move and how to move, and then for a few hours once a week he gets a pass. On pass he is free to do whatever he wants with this time. Okay, it’s the military so it’s not whatever he wants but still he has a little freedom. He can go hang out with the other soldiers, go to the store or use his phone. This time it hit me that he is free to choose how he spends that time. He could spend it however he wants and he chooses to call home and talk to us. Wow.

As I thought about it, I found myself overwhelmed by God and His love for me . As people we all sin. And at some point in our lives we have been slaves to that sin. We end up feeling like my son who is being controlled by the US Army. We have no freedom. We are imprisoned and sin is our master drill sergeant. But Jesus came to set us free from that bondage and when we put our faith, hope and whole lives into His hands he gives us freedom. A non-controlling freedom to do whatever we want. But what do we do? Do we go on sinning just like before because we are forgiven and God will and can forgive us again? Do we put filthy rags back on and declare we are temples? Or do we call home and talk to our Father and hear His voice say our name? Do we use our freedom to rest in Him? To hear Him say, “I love you. I am proud of you, son, because you are beautifully and wonderfully made.”

We have the freedom to call home and talk to our Father. Not just on a pass that will end after a few hours, like my son when he calls us, but an endless freedom to be at home resting in Him for an eternity. I don’t know about you, but for me I don’t want go back to how I was before I had His freedom. His way brings life and joy, meaning, and purpose, and fills me in ways sin never could. His freedom pours out kindness, love and compassion. He is present in the mist of my suffering and the source of all of my joy. Whether I have a four hour pass or the rest of my life to give, I want to give it all to Him. I can only picture the look on our Father’s face when He sees us calling His name. Overwhelming.

Calling Home

As my family sat in church a few Sundays ago, my husband’s phone lit up with an incoming call. I looked down and saw “Kyle” on the face of his phone and then looked at my husband. With overwhelming joy in my heart I whispered, “Go and answer it!”

We wait for that call every week now. Kyle is our first born son who left in November to join the military. He is still in training and at most he gets to call home now once a week. We long to hear his voice and to hear how he is doing. All week he is told when to get up, where to stand, how to stand, when to move and how to move, and then for a few hours once a week he gets a pass. On pass he is free to do whatever he wants with this time. Okay, it’s the military so it’s not whatever he wants but still he has freedom. He can go hang out with the other soldiers, go to the store or use his phone. Today it hit me that he is free to do whatever he would like. He could do whatever he wants and he chooses to call home and talk to us. Wow.

I found myself overwhelmed by God and His love for me as I thought about it. As people we all sin. And at some point in our lives we have been slaves to that sin. We end up feeling like my son who is being controlled by the US Army. We have no freedom. We are imprisoned and sin is our master drill sergeant. But Jesus came to set us free from that bondage and when we put our faith, hope and whole lives into His hands he gives us freedom. A non-controlling freedom to do whatever we want. But what do we do? Do we go on sinning just like before because we are forgiven and God will and can forgive us again? Do we put filthy rags back on and declare we are temples? Or do we call home and talk to our Father and hear His voice say our name? Do we use our freedom to rest in Him? To hear Him say, “I love you. I am proud of you, son, because you are beautifully and wonderfully made.”

We have the freedom to call home and talk to our Father. Not just on a pass that will end after a few hours, like my son when he calls us, but an endless freedom to be at home resting in Him for an eternity. I don’t know about you but for me I don’t want go back to how I was before I had His freedom. His way brings life and joy, meaning and purpose, and fills me in ways sin never could. His freedom pours out kindness, love and compassion. He is present in the mist of my suffering and the source of all of my joy. Whether I have a four hour pass or the rest of my life to give I want to give it all to Him. I can only picture the look on my Father’s face when He sees us calling His name. Overwhelming.