Today marked an unbelievable day in my life. When my husband and I married almost twenty years ago we were half way through our first four years of college and we believed in the American dream. We had planned to finish school in two more years; both land professional jobs, buy a house and then have two children, possibly a third after the first two were a little older. It didn’t take us long to realize we had bought into a lie.
Two months into our marriage we found out we were going to have our first child. We were so thrilled and when we met him in our 11th month of marriage God began to show us through our son’s tiny hands and feet what God’s dream was for us. People began to doubt I would finish school, but of course I was determined to continue and earn my bachelor’s degree despite any naysayers.
So there we were a family, both of us in school fulltime, my husband having to work waiting tables and me staying home to care for our new baby. We carefully studied the course catalog each quarter to set up our schedules opposite of each other and often had to hand our son off to each other between our classes. We made it work and continued through sleepless nights with a newborn and papers to write. The next year I did graduate and receive my diploma. My husband’s degree took a bit more time so he was still in school and I was trying to find that professional job the financial aid office told me I would land. My loans quickly became due and I still did not have any offers for jobs in my field, let alone one that would pay enough to put our much loved son in daycare. And then we got pregnant with baby number two.
After he was born I stayed home with our two boys and my husband worked and continued in school committed to finishing his degree so at least he could provide for our family with his “professional” income. With student loan money helping us through we managed to make it work and then a few months later I started getting really sick. Our oldest was not quite three and our baby was 6 months old. I had no insurance due to my unemployment, but had to go to the doctor. The doctor quickly informed me why I was feeling so ill. I was pregnant with number three. After asking the doctor to repeat that several times, I went home in our small car, to our small two bedroom apartment and told my husband that we were going to have another child.
Three kids in three and a half years. Now people were really talking. They would ask us if we knew how this happens. They couldn’t believe that we would have another baby at a time like this. They would talk about our birth control methods and let us know their opinion on whether this baby was God’s will or our stupidity. My husband began working at his internship while still in school and working as a server at night. After working two jobs while in school, having three children in a two bedroom apartment, sharing one small car and accruing more student loans he finally graduated five years into our marriage! This was our American dream and it had only just begun.
My husband began his search for his professional job and our loans became due. Making only $18,000 that year with a family of five and no longer receiving financial aid we put our loans on forbearance not sure what else to do. After a year he found a part-time job in his profession and we moved across the state for an $11,000 a year job. I suppose normal people don’t do that but God had provided so much and we knew He was in this all the way. We watched doors being opened in front of us and closed behind us in amazing ways. We had no control over it and it was completely scary and beautiful all and the same time. We ended up moving again the next year and God provided again. We had promises made to us by employers that we not kept. We had zero pennies to our name many of days. But God would show up. In the middle of all the chaos He was faithful. There were many times that I wished a generous fountain of money would just open up and rain out of the sky so we could have a nice home with two cars, a full time job with a professional salary and our student loan debt paid in full. But, we were not living the American Dream. We were living God’s dream for us which is way more beautiful.
Twenty-two years ago we enter college at eighteen years old thinking nothing could stop us from living the life we always wanted and believing a lie. We were told we would have great jobs when we finished college and taking out student loans wasn’t really a big deal because we could easily pay them back when we were done with school. None of that happened like that for us. God had a much greater plan to show us Himself. We learned to never give up because He never gave up on us. When other people had their say He remained faithfully by our side. We learned to be generous because He has given us everything we have without question. We learned that He is good and only good even when it seemed like there was no good to be found. He has given us an overwhelming abundance of joy through trusting in Him and not the false securities of this world.
Today marks a day that my husband and I will always remember. We thought today would never come. After having four beautiful children and moving our family four times, each with its own set of challenges, in an attempt to find a way to this day, it is finally here. We are overwhelmed with God’s goodness, faithfulness and generosity. Because today is the day the Lord has made a way for us to pay off our student loans. Our student loan debt is paid in full and I am so grateful for a God that showed us a new way to dream.
