Before I knew who Jesus was I lived my life for myself. I
didn’t understand that I had a Creator. I didn’t understand that I had a Savior
and a Redeemer. I thought life was mine to live and boy was I living it. My
lifestyle led to many chains. I was trapped and enslaved by what I later knew
as sin. It led me to feeling lonely, shameful, anxious, and just plain out of
control at times.
As I stepped into a new life I was taught that these
chains that enslaved me no longer had a hold on me. Though there were plenty of
days those first several years where it felt like they did, I started believing
in how God saw me as His much loved child. I was His beautiful daughter worth
saving and breathing new life into. I
started to allow Him to take off the chains that He had broken long before I
was ready to let them go. Eventually I was no longer haunted by my past regrets
and sins because I allowed Him to take them from me completely. But as I stood
worshipping God now, some 25 years later, I realized I must really love chains.
Break every chain was playing over and over in my mind;
it was pouring out of my mouth and stirring something deep in my heart. For
years I have loved singing that refrain because in those moments I would
celebrate all that I know He is because of all that He has done in my life. So
why do I insist on wearing chains like they are accessory to who I am? They are
not comfortable. They are ugly. They dig in and cause pain in my life. They
make me feel like a wild animal that is desperate to break free from a cage at
the zoo. But there I was in shackles again.
These chains did not look like my old ones, but I had
managed to find new ones. Instead of being a slave to myself I was now a slave
to others. I had allowed the people in my life to put chains back on me. People
that don’t treat me the way I deserve to be treated. People who expect me to
carry their weight as well as my own. People who think they are better than me,
who slander me, who disrespect me and play games with me. People who compete
with me and try to pass their insecurities off onto me. I had strapped a brand
new shiny set of chains back on myself. I was now enslaved again.
These new chains caused me to try and defend myself when
I already have a Defender. These new chains caused me to become frustrated with
others and blame them for making me carry their weight. These new chains wanted
me to shout to others, “You are not better than me. I am not who you say I am.
Do you not know who I am? I am an important person. I am a person and I have
feelings that can be trampled on and hurt.”
Why do I want these chains when I can have a life free of
slavery? Why would I go back to being beaten and abused, taken advantage of and
tricked, mocked and spit on? Why would I go back to being a slave to someone
else or even myself again? Why would I put on new chains that are now engraved
with competing with my brothers and sisters or judging others who live and
struggle differently than me? Sometimes even judging those who struggle the
same as me. At the end of it all it comes back to my identity. Who defines it?
Every day is a battle. When man chose to disobey God, man
also chose to believe a lie. That God wasn’t enough and that fulfillment could
be found elsewhere. But it was a trap. It still is. I have to choose to believe
that by God’s grace I am no longer a slave but heir. When I allow my Creator
the one who knows every detail of my life to define me, I live in freedom. The
chains of self-righteousness, pride, deceit, envy, anxiousness, slander they are
all exchanged for freedom in Him and replaced with His righteousness, humility,
holiness, kindness, love and peace. I must choose to believe the truth. That fulfillment,
freedom and peace only come from the one who created me, rescued me and
redeemed me. He broke every chain to reconcile me to Himself so I can be free
to live an intimate relationship with Him and man.
I must stop exchanging
my old chains for new ones. My brothers and sisters are not my enemy. They
struggle, too. They fail to see their true identity every day, too. I must look
to my Creator for my identity. He took the crown of thorns to give me a royal
crown. He took the shackles off me feet so I could be set free. I am humbled as
I remember by grace I am saved and freed. Not just for me, but also to pour out
grace on my brothers and sisters, whether they are in Christ yet or not. When I
stop competing and defending and exchange all of my chains for His freedom I
just might lead someone else to find freedom as well.
“God created man in his own image, in the image of God he
created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them.” Gen 1:27
“You have searched me and known me! For you formed my
inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you for I
am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Ps 139
“For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons (and
daughters) of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back
into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons (and
daughters), by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” Rom. 8:14-15
“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy
nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies
of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.” 1 Peter 2:9
“To put off your old self, which belongs to your former
manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in
the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the
likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” Eph. 4:22-24
