The other day I was driving in the car with my kids and I
was pondering this post. Wondering if I would ever have the clarity to write it
and then, in one of those teachable moments I often have with my kids, it happened. God
taught me through my own spoken words.
There we were driving along and one of the kids was being unkind to another. Crazy, I know, but there it was. So, I stepped in and pointed out the obvious and explained that he owed his brother an apology for his unkind actions. He said he was sorry but then started listing his brother’s offenses. I heard them all, but didn’t acknowledge any of the statements that were attempting to point the finger away from him and onto his brother. And then the brother who was being accused starts in on his own unkindness. I said, “That’s enough” only to be followed by, “But he is saying a bunch of things I was obviously joking about.” To which I replied, “Am I responding to his accusing words towards you?”
Hmm…And there it was. I was the parent capable of discerning the truth and recognizing who was right and wrong. That is why I was not giving much thought to the side tracking arguments of the accuser. But how often do I want to defend myself even with a perfect Father? How often do I want to make sure that the world knows that I am not the one who is wrong? How often do I jump to justify myself even in situations where I know I cannot win? Where I am fighting a losing battle?
This is one of the biggest things I learned this past year. I don’t need to defend myself. I don’t need to seek to justify myself and I don’t need anyone to know that I wasn’t the one who messed up even when I didn’t. I don’t need to have anyone say, “You know what? You’re right.” I don’t have to justify myself to save face because I have already been justified. I have a defender and I cannot come close to defending myself to the degree He has defended me.
The crazy thing is that I often forget this. When decisions are made around me, even ones that are not personally affecting me, but ones that affect people or things I care about I get into my best defender stance and my passion overwhelms me. I feel I need to speak out against the injustice around me, to right the wrongs and ultimately there I stand unguarded and out in the open. Somehow I’ve switched places and realize I am defending my Defender. I am now venerable and have placed myself in a position that allows people to attack from all sides, rather than standing in my rightful place, allowing my Defender to go before me and behind me.
All of this, of course, could be justified by the fact that I was defending things that are important to Him. I was defending things He had died for. And I was defending things that He cares about more than I do. I needed these accusers to see what they were doing, not to me, but to my Defender and His name. But when did my Defender ever give these accusers words any thought? When did He ever ask me to defend Him?
He knows who He is and whose He is. He knows perfect right from perfect wrong. He is truth. He is Just. So why did I think He needed a defender. I guess I just didn’t realize what I was doing. But, I was wasting energy on defending a God that is the defender of all. At the cross Jesus didn’t even defend Himself. He had every right to, but He knew He was innocent and He was about to die for the guilty. He gave His life for all, even the people that I try to defend my God against. He doesn’t need me to defend Him. He invites me to rest in Him and quit blocking His way with my measly five foot defensive stance. I have a responsibility but it is to follow my defender and invite others to know Him and take refuge under His wing while He defends us from the accusers. We are the ones in need of Him. We need the defender, not the other way around.
“God my strength, I am looking to you, because God is my defender. My God loves me, and he goes in front of me. He will help me defeat my enemies.” Psalm 59:9-10
There we were driving along and one of the kids was being unkind to another. Crazy, I know, but there it was. So, I stepped in and pointed out the obvious and explained that he owed his brother an apology for his unkind actions. He said he was sorry but then started listing his brother’s offenses. I heard them all, but didn’t acknowledge any of the statements that were attempting to point the finger away from him and onto his brother. And then the brother who was being accused starts in on his own unkindness. I said, “That’s enough” only to be followed by, “But he is saying a bunch of things I was obviously joking about.” To which I replied, “Am I responding to his accusing words towards you?”
Hmm…And there it was. I was the parent capable of discerning the truth and recognizing who was right and wrong. That is why I was not giving much thought to the side tracking arguments of the accuser. But how often do I want to defend myself even with a perfect Father? How often do I want to make sure that the world knows that I am not the one who is wrong? How often do I jump to justify myself even in situations where I know I cannot win? Where I am fighting a losing battle?
This is one of the biggest things I learned this past year. I don’t need to defend myself. I don’t need to seek to justify myself and I don’t need anyone to know that I wasn’t the one who messed up even when I didn’t. I don’t need to have anyone say, “You know what? You’re right.” I don’t have to justify myself to save face because I have already been justified. I have a defender and I cannot come close to defending myself to the degree He has defended me.
The crazy thing is that I often forget this. When decisions are made around me, even ones that are not personally affecting me, but ones that affect people or things I care about I get into my best defender stance and my passion overwhelms me. I feel I need to speak out against the injustice around me, to right the wrongs and ultimately there I stand unguarded and out in the open. Somehow I’ve switched places and realize I am defending my Defender. I am now venerable and have placed myself in a position that allows people to attack from all sides, rather than standing in my rightful place, allowing my Defender to go before me and behind me.
All of this, of course, could be justified by the fact that I was defending things that are important to Him. I was defending things He had died for. And I was defending things that He cares about more than I do. I needed these accusers to see what they were doing, not to me, but to my Defender and His name. But when did my Defender ever give these accusers words any thought? When did He ever ask me to defend Him?
He knows who He is and whose He is. He knows perfect right from perfect wrong. He is truth. He is Just. So why did I think He needed a defender. I guess I just didn’t realize what I was doing. But, I was wasting energy on defending a God that is the defender of all. At the cross Jesus didn’t even defend Himself. He had every right to, but He knew He was innocent and He was about to die for the guilty. He gave His life for all, even the people that I try to defend my God against. He doesn’t need me to defend Him. He invites me to rest in Him and quit blocking His way with my measly five foot defensive stance. I have a responsibility but it is to follow my defender and invite others to know Him and take refuge under His wing while He defends us from the accusers. We are the ones in need of Him. We need the defender, not the other way around.
“God my strength, I am looking to you, because God is my defender. My God loves me, and he goes in front of me. He will help me defeat my enemies.” Psalm 59:9-10
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