SNOW Storm

During the big 2014 snow storm in the southeast I found it fascinating how the news began debating. The snow paralyzed Atlanta. People were abandoning their cars. Thousands of kids were stranded in their schools and had to spend the night. Many adults and children were still not able to get home and we are going to start a debate. Was it the meteorologists’ fault? Had they misinformed us? Or was it the fault of the government officials? Should they have made sure the roads were salted and the teams were ready to respond to the inclement weather?

They were each pointing their fingers at each other unwilling to take responsibility. Back and forth they went while there was still a mess. People were still in crisis, people were still left to be rescued and brought home and they wanted to spend time and energy debating and focusing on stuff that doesn't matter. I mean, does it matter whose fault it is? Does it matter who should have to clean it up? Or who should have done a better job? Or do the people matter? Is it more important to be right or to respond?

I love how God can use the most mundane things like the weather to speak to my heart and help me to see how I waste energy just like this. How many times have I wasted time debating? Trying to be right, outwardly or inwardly? Directly or indirectly? How many times have I missed an opportunity to respond in love towards someone because I was focused on things that don’t matter? While there is a mess going on in someone’s life I am still debating yesterday. While there are people in need I want to justify why I made the decisions I did to prove that I was right. That it wasn't my fault. All the while people are stranded and struggling. People are dying. People are in need of rescue.

I want to be right and they just want a response. They want to know someone cares. That they are loved and that they are not alone. They may need to be carried out because the wounds are so deep and the brokenness is debilitating. The very thought of keeping their eyes open is too much effort because they are suffocating under ten feet of snow from the avalanche that this life has become for them.

I want to be done with the desperate need to be right so that I can be free to respond. To go to the sick, the dying, the outcasts, the messed up, the hungry, the broken and the proud and lead them to rescue. Lead them to life. Lead them to a loving God who is always right but won't stop to debate fault. Won't stop to consider who should have to clean it up. He just opens the eyes of the blind and rescues all who are stranded and struggling by responding to His people because we matter.

No Greater Reward

This die to serve thing is hard. Ten years ago I was wrestling with what it means to truly die to myself to serve. I started writing to really capture some things God was showing me along the way. Today I am looking back. I am wondering if I have learned anything? Will I ever start living like there is no greater reward? Living like it’s not just for me? Oh sure, I've blogged about it and I really try not to post a blog until I am willing to put my own flesh to it. But, it is easy to talk about stuff and much harder to be disciplined enough to actually die to serve.

If I am really honest I constantly have to filter my life through the fact that I am entitled to nothing. I own nothing and I am nothing apart from Him. We live in a world that increasingly tells us we are entitled. We are entitled to a good job if we go to college, we are entitled to health insurance if we hold down that job, and we are entitled to a bonus if we go above and beyond. And I am sure most of us are just fine with a world that says, “Thank you for accomplishing all you did this year. You deserve this great reward for producing such amazing results!”

But what happens when the rules change? What happens when I am challenged to actually remember that I am entitled to nothing and am owed nothing? What happens when I am told, “Thank you for doing such a great job? You exceeded our expectations and the results of your blood, sweat and tears led to us making our goals this year. So do you know what we are going to do? We are going to give you and all of your co-workers the same reward. No matter who they are. Isn't that great?”

Even the ones who don’t try? Even the ones who don’t care? Even the ones who don’t bother showing up on time? Even the ones who do their own thing? Who stand around while others get it done?

Even them.

At that moment do I not look back at all of my hard work and effort and start fighting an inward battle that proclaims, “That’s not fair?” Do I not start comparing myself to the people around me trying to measure their performance against mine? How is it that a person that has contributed at 5% is entitled to the same reward as one that has quadrupled those results? And suddenly there is an “I” in team. Suddenly I did something on my own to get there. Suddenly I am entitled.

And it is the strangest thing. I could care less about a reward while I am working. It isn't what motivates or drives me to serve. I don’t even mind working harder or smarter for those who are not there yet. But the minute payment is being rendered do I not expect it to be fair?

When will I start living like there is no greater reward? When will I stop worrying about who gets the reward as if there is something better out there? When will I remember that it isn't about who gets the payment but about my life being the payment? What am I willing to do? How far am I willing to go? No matter what! No matter who!

This is who Jesus is. He didn't stop and say, “This isn't fair. I shouldn't have to lay down my life for all these no good sinners not wanting to follow the law.” He was willing to endure the cost as a payment for all. Not just for me.