Passionate Fire

I often hate that I am passionate. It causes me to wrestle and my soul burns like a fire that is trying to escape a fireplace. It often feels like the glass doors are shut tight just trying to keep me contained and I desperately want to be let out so I can spread and grow. I find that I have to apologize at times because my passion overwhelms me and I forget not everyone feels the way that I do.

It is impossible to fully comprehend what drives another person because we all have different backgrounds and experiences that have brought us to where we are. We unsuccessfully try to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes after filtering it through our own boxes of values, morals and reasoning based on what motivates us. We try to understand another person’s motives, but if ours are skewed then we assume the same about someone else’s.

We must consider another’s point of view from a place we have never been and that is impossible. I learned this a few years ago when I tried over an over to explain my passion to someone and they failed to understand where I was coming from. I was crushed by it because I thought people knew what drove me. But every time I tried to express how I was feeling it went through the filter of their scope and intentions. Each conversation left me feeling worse because I was completely misunderstood.

My passions and desires were not my own. I was more than my performance and more than the opinions of my peers. I was not interested in making a name for myself but making a difference. I wanted my life to bring value and encouragement to someone else and be given a chance to do more of that. I learned that it is hard to express outward focused passions and desires to an inward focused humanity. I desperately wanted my dedication and service to simply encourage these same values in others, but these conversations were filtered through pride and fear.

So how do you respond when someone tells you that maybe your mission means too much to you? What happens when someone sees your act of service as an act of self-promotion? What happens when you sacrifice yourself to protect and serve someone else and you are accused of self-protection? What happens when your motives are misinterpreted through someone else’s filter?

You must remember who you are and whose you are. You must continue to sacrifice even when accused. You must remember to forgive and reconcile even when people don’t deserve it. You must continue to protect people even when they don’t fight for you. You must remember to die to serve even when people hurt you. You must continue to fulfill the mission that God has for you, even when no understands your motivation is deeper than yourself. You must remember to consider another’s point of view from a place you have never been, even when it feels impossible. And you must never lose your passion and desire, even when someone tries to shut the doors to your fire so they can keep you contained. You must remember to spread and grow because the mission means “too much to you” for a reason.