The Cry of WHY?

As a child I grew up learning that asking, “Why?” was a bad idea. I often asked it one too many times when my parents got mad at me and sent me to my room and it usually earned me a spanking. I generally just didn’t understand what I did wrong, but I learned that during parental wrath it was rarely a good idea to ask why.

As an adult I have learned that asking why questions most often leads to disappointment. Think about it. Every time you ask why someone is a certain way or does a certain thing you are left feeling more frustrated than you were before because you still don’t get it. Usually we really don’t want to know the answer to many of the why questions we ask, especially when it pertains to the world and its people. We generally want the answer to simply justify that our way is the right way of doing things and everyone else is, well, let’s just say…dumb.

I guess we are trained from an early age not to ask too many questions. We learn that it either leads to disappointment in how we look at people or we remember what it was like to ask our parents why when we were in trouble.

Could that be why we want to put a bow around our worship when we come to God? Is that why we try to pretend everything is “just fine?” Do we think we cannot question and ask God, “Why?” Why cancer? Why job loss? Why war? Why did I get stuck working with the crazy co-worker, again? Why was I from an abusive family? Why did you let those bad things happen to me as a child? Why hunger? Why rape? Why poverty? Why death?

There are times that I have not felt like jumping for joy. I could not put my blinders on and pretend that I wasn’t hurting in real ways. I could not proclaim that God is good. I could not see a reason for the pain and suffering around me. Just like Job I began wrestling, doubting, and questioning. I tried to pretend everything was “fine” but it wasn’t. Nothing made sense and the more I pretended to have all of the answers the more I wrestled. The more I sought out the answers on my own the more questions I seemed to have.

Pretending never works with God much like it never worked for me as a child to pretend I understood why I was being sent to my room. After my 30 minute time out my parents would inevitably come into my room and ask me, “Do you know why you are in here?” And I would respond at that point with either a, “No. Remember, I tried to ask you why and you wouldn’t answer me?” (Explains the spanking, right?), or I would make up a reason. And oh man, if I guessed wrong then I would get another 30 minutes to sit and think about it. And the bad part about that was I knew I still was unlikely going to be able to figure it out by then either. So I would cry and throw a tantrum often kicking and screaming trying to beat down my bedroom door. I just could not understand what wrong I had done to deserve such punishment.

The good news is if we take a good look at God through His word we see the wrestling, the grieving, the weeping and the lament. It is all a part of our worship response to a God that is bigger than we can even imagine. When life feels in disarray, when our relationships fall apart, when we feel like we are in exile wandering in the wilderness, when we desperately need to know why, it is okay to lament. It is okay to grieve and it is okay to wonder and doubt. We worship a God that is big enough, strong enough and compassionate enough to deal with our real emotions. When we ask God why questions it doesn’t lead to disappointment or a surge in His wrath. Rather, He reveals Himself in greater ways.

We don’t have to pretend to know why. We can ask Him and He will lead us beside still waters and respond to us. Every single time I yell and scream and try to kick down my bedroom door, He answers me. Though sometimes the answers seem slow in coming like they did as a child locked inside my bedroom. Often I think He just wants me to have 30 minutes to think about it and 30 minutes later I still don’t want to believe that He is good. That He is what is best for me. He allows me the freedom to wrestle and throw tantrums until I am ready to turn. Until I see Him for who He is; a God who grieves, a God who weeps and a God who desperately loves His people even through the whys.

Do you feel you can ask God why? Do you need to untie a bow around your worship to him and bring Him everything? Even your doubt?