I love how personal God is. I
love how He came down and rescued me. I am grateful that He has changed my
life, broken chains, and taken my shame and placed it on Himself. Those are
incredible lengths to go for a sinner like me.
I don’t know about you, but the people I encounter on a daily basis
don’t tend to do that. Every single day I come into contact with people who
have selfish motives (including myself). I have repeatedly used and taken
advantage of people for what they do for me, and of course it has been done to
me in return. People “love” me when I do things for them. They rave about all
the great things I do and that seems nice, I guess. But a couple of years ago
that all changed for me.
My family and I were going
through a transition. During that time people kept coming to us, over and over,
telling us what a “great” family we are. That should seem nice, right? But what
came next just killed me a little more each time it was said. People kept
saying we were “great” and then listing off what we do for them via our talents
and works. I knew in my heart that the only reason I had any of those things
was because of who God is. I am breathing because of Him. I have a “great”
family because of Him. I have talents and good works ONLY because of Him, which
on my best days are still not that “good.”
Our family was incredibly sad
through our transition because all these people seemed to point to was what we
did. There were no statements made to us that pointed to who we were, and we
were the same people before we did anything for anyone there. Our goal was
never to have others thinking we were a cool, trendy and hip musical family.
Our mission was to simply be living sacrifices. To love and serve others as God
loved and served us. We didn't want to be known for anything we did or any
talent that we had. We didn't want accolades, we just wanted to be loved and
cared for as people through our transition. We discovered some of these people didn't
know who we were at all. If they did they would have known that only one of our
family members is really the cool, hip, musical one. (Just kidding.) But
seriously, we felt awful. And I kept thinking, “Don’t they know that we only do
what we do because of who we are?”
Through all of this I had to
stop and face the facts that the way I related to God was often just like this.
I worshiped Him for what He did for me, often failing to consider who He is. I
realized God had done amazing things in my life because of who He is, and not
the other way around. I was a narcissistic worshiper. It was all about me. What
He had done for me. How He died for me. How He rescued me. How He set me free. And
I kept thinking God must be asking the same thing of me, “Doesn't she know that
we only do what we do because of who we are?”
My view was so backwards. I
had been worshiping Him thinking that what He did for me declares who He is. So
it is no surprise that when I couldn't see Him doing amazing things in my life
my offering of worship was different and my thoughts of who He is changed. But
God didn't. He is the same. He is Holy. He is Mighty, Powerful, Victorious, and
Good. He is King, Rescuer, Messiah, Lord, Redeemer, Deliverer, and the Creator of
the universe. And I was coming to Him saying you are “great” and then I had my
list of things that would cause me to sing louder and lift my hands a little
higher during worship. All things that He did for me. But He was great before
He did anything for anyone.
I think that God loves it when
we proclaim all the great things He has done for us and we should be utterly
grateful. But, if we don’t have an understanding of who He is we tend to glory
in our salvation instead of how marvelous He is. We fail to really see and
recognize all He has done for us and that He alone is the treasure; not
eternity free from sin, guilt, shame, suffering, and pain. Those things will
all be great after living in this fallen world but wouldn't one day in His
courts be worth anything. One moment in His presence is going to be better than
anything we could ever ask or imagine.
I now stop and consider what I
am saying when I sing to God about taking my sin and shame away. He didn't just
take it away like a genie in a bottle. It didn't just vanish into thin air
while He waved a magic wand. He took it on Himself. He carried my cross, bore
my shame and was whipped with the chains that held me captive in my sin. That
is a different picture than we tend to have when we get our praise on. The
gospel is bigger than me. It is about a perfect triune God who longs to live
and share His own perfect fellowship with all of humanity.
God was worthy to be
worshiped before He did anything for anyone. All of the wealth that He has and
the generosity He pours out are only because of who He is. I want my whole life
to bow down in reverence to Him regardless of where my story is at. I want to
see Him in all of humanity no matter where their story is at. I believe that is
where true worship begins. When we die to worship with no agenda, position or
stance, and simply chose to worship Him for who He is. And worship continues
through loving and caring for creation right where they are simply because
of who they are. They are His.
photo credit: thejourneybyally.com
“Worship the LORD in the
splendor of holiness; tremble before him, all the earth! Say among the nations,
“The LORD reigns! Yes, the world is established; it shall never be moved; he
will judge the peoples with equity.” Psalm 96:9-10
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