The Defender

The other day I was driving in the car with my kids and I was pondering this post. Wondering if I would ever have the clarity to write it and then, in one of those teachable moments I often have with my kids, it happened. God taught me through my own spoken words.

There we were driving along and one of the kids was being unkind to another. Crazy, I know, but there it was. So, I stepped in and pointed out the obvious and explained that he owed his brother an apology for his unkind actions. He said he was sorry but then started listing his brother’s offenses. I heard them all, but didn’t acknowledge any of the statements that were attempting to point the finger away from him and onto his brother. And then the brother who was being accused starts in on his own unkindness. I said, “That’s enough” only to be followed by, “But he is saying a bunch of things I was obviously joking about.” To which I replied, “Am I responding to his accusing words towards you?”

Hmm…And there it was. I was the parent capable of discerning the truth and recognizing who was right and wrong. That is why I was not giving much thought to the side tracking arguments of the accuser. But how often do I want to defend myself even with a perfect Father? How often do I want to make sure that the world knows that I am not the one who is wrong? How often do I jump to justify myself even in situations where I know I cannot win? Where I am fighting a losing battle?

This is one of the biggest things I learned this past year. I don’t need to defend myself. I don’t need to seek to justify myself and I don’t need anyone to know that I wasn’t the one who messed up even when I didn’t. I don’t need to have anyone say, “You know what? You’re right.” I don’t have to justify myself to save face because I have already been justified. I have a defender and I cannot come close to defending myself to the degree He has defended me.

The crazy thing is that I often forget this. When decisions are made around me, even ones that are not personally affecting me, but ones that affect people or things I care about I get into my best defender stance and my passion overwhelms me. I feel I need to speak out against the injustice around me, to right the wrongs and ultimately there I stand unguarded and out in the open. Somehow I’ve switched places and realize I am defending my Defender.  I am now venerable and have placed myself in a position that allows people to attack from all sides, rather than standing in my rightful place, allowing my Defender to go before me and behind me.

All of this, of course, could be justified by the fact that I was defending things that are important to Him. I was defending things He had died for. And I was defending things that He cares about more than I do. I needed these accusers to see what they were doing, not to me, but to my Defender and His name. But when did my Defender ever give these accusers words any thought? When did He ever ask me to defend Him?

He knows who He is and whose He is. He knows perfect right from perfect wrong. He is truth. He is Just. So why did I think He needed a defender.  I guess I just didn’t realize what I was doing. But, I was wasting energy on defending a God that is the defender of all. At the cross Jesus didn’t even defend Himself. He had every right to, but He knew He was innocent and He was about to die for the guilty. He gave His life for all, even the people that I try to defend my God against. He doesn’t need me to defend Him. He invites me to rest in Him and quit blocking His way with my measly five foot defensive stance. I have a responsibility but it is to follow my defender and invite others to know Him and take refuge under His wing while He defends us from the accusers. We are the ones in need of Him. We need the defender, not the other way around.

“God my strength, I am looking to you, because God is my defender. My God loves me, and he goes in front of me. He will help me defeat my enemies.” Psalm 59:9-10  

The Cost is Worth 100 Percent

This one is going to hurt a little. It may even hurt a lot. I know as I have been through various pains in my life, and even disappointment, that each time it can leave a mark. A mark that doesn’t really seem to ever go away. It may hurt less, it may heal even to where no one else can tell it is there, but it can still linger and affect how I live. It is kind of like a broken finger that hurts really badly at first but as it heals it hurts less and less. Eventually, no one else can tell that it is still sore. But it is sometimes, especially if it gets hit it in the same place. And one thing can be very true of that finger; I may never use it again 100 percent.

 

What a tragedy. I believe that can be the enemy’s strongest weapon; not to use just our pains, hurts, disappointments and failures against us, but to actually keep us from not trusting 100 percent. To get us to hold on and keep 10 percent, 20 percent or sometimes even 90 percent on reserve to protect ourselves from being hurt again. We don’t give ourselves fully to our new circumstances. We can even end up moving away and bringing it all with us.

 

I have lived a few years of my life with the one foot in one foot out mentality and it is not a place of peace. It is a place of worry, a place of uncertainty, place of wrestling, and a place of loneliness. You constantly think, “When this doesn’t work out I can always go back over here or move over there.” Back and forth you go from one foot to the other until you are exhausted. Until all you want is just a place to be swept off your feet from feeling the pain and laid down to rest in the comfort of what you knew before the pain.

 

We become distant from people feeling like no one really cares or understands because they cannot see the scars that were left. Some expect you to move on before you are ready. Others get busy with their own lives and the world just seems to be going on around you; like somehow you are not even connected to it in anyway, except to feel lonely. You find yourself wishing for at least one person to come and shine a light into your darkened places. You pray that God would have someone see the pain that goes unnoticed and go one step further and just show up. Someone to care enough to come after you and pursue you so you can trust again. They are the person that opens your hand to letting go of the percent you still hold onto that prevents you from giving 100 percent. They care for you through the pain and the fears and all of the tears that are shed through the releasing of this grip.

 

I know that is what God does for us and I believe it is what He calls us to do for others. The problem is the more a person is hurt the greater the distance at times and the stronger the pursuit often needs to be. We may have to show up at their work or call them seventy times before they start to believe you genuinely care about them. That you love them and want to have a real relationship with them.

 

Sometimes they just need to be reminded that God loves them. They need to be reminded that He took that risk and endured that pain for us over and over. He knows what it is like to be hurt. Rejected. Beaten. Mocked. Misunderstood. But He suffered long. He didn’t give up. He gave me one hundred percent of Himself to give me life and display His love for me. How far was He willing to go? How many risks was He willing to take? How many times would He forgive and still not hold back because of His unrelenting love.

 

I want to love like that. I want to forgive like that. I want to die to myself to give one hundred percent even if I am hurt again. Rejected. Beaten. Mocked. I want to suffer long with people because they are worth it. God thinks so. I want to risk it all again and again because I have counted the cost and I know He is worth it.

 

I am so thankful that God speaks through His sons and daughters so we can encourage one another to lay it all down again and again. I don’t know where some of you are today. Whether you are one that has been hurt and are holding back or you are one that needs to be the gentle voice into someone’s life because they are hurting. But take the risk. Be free from whatever hinders you. There is a cost, but it is not greater than the cost of holding on.

Righteousness

I am fed. I am full. I am stuffed full and fed. I am right. I can see no wrong. I am strong. I am winning. I fight to justify myself. Every view point I hold is the best. And not just for me. I get others to agree with me and convince them to see things my way. My ego is increased. There is more of me. My voice is loud. My arrogance prevents me from listening and when I try I cannot hear. I am a leech. I suck life out of all who hear me shouting from high on my hill. I care for no one who stands in my way. My name be known. My name be greater. I am better. I know what is best. Not just for me. I am self-righteousness.

I am hungry. I am empty. I am desperate, hungry and empty. I am wrong. I can see it. I feel weak. I am losing. I am tired of fighting to justify myself. Every view point I held was skewed just for me. I need something to fill me. My ego is decreasing. There is less of me. My voice is quieted. I am humbled and listen and when I listen I can hear. I am naked. I am a sinner and I have been rescued from high on a hill. He cared for me, a no one, and stood in my place. His name be known. His name be greater. He is better. He knows what is best. Not just for me. He is righteousness.

I am fed. I am full. I am satisfied, full and fed. I am made right. I have repented my wrong. In my weakness He is strong. He has won. I am justified. His view point is perfect. And not just for me. It is finished. I find no reason to convince others to see things my way. I would rather they see His way. My ego is broken and laid at His feet. My voice is a song of praise to Him. His holiness allows me to see my sin and hear the temptations and the lies. I am covered. My sin put to death high on that hill. I care for others because I am not better. My name was unknown. I was not greater. His way is better. I am forgiven. I am made new. I am justified. Not just for me. He is my righteousness.

He is Jesus. He is not just for me.

The Christmas My Eyes Were Opened

Growing up I would have said that my most memorable Christmas and holiday traditions were full of Christmas music, presents, being forced to sit on Santa’s lap, awkward family photos, and of course the ever popular "cram into the family car and try to find the house that had created the most obnoxious light display." This gradually changed as I got older and learned about the birth of Jesus. I would try to get my Christmas shopping done early so that I could focus on its true meaning, and yet come Christmas morning, it still felt like materialism had seized the day and that all Jesus is and had done was still somehow overlooked.

 

Four years ago, that all changed for my family.We found ourselves in the middle of high end Suburbia, surrounded by the American Dream, unemployed and about to lose everything. Would the unemployment check come in time? Would we be living a true Suburban life in the back of our Chevy Suburban? Living in one of the most expensive places on earth, where most people around us had everything the moment they needed it, and us with four kids unsure of how we would pay our bills, God did something amazing. He didn’t give us a money tree in our backyard. He didn’t give Jeremy a job right away. He didn’t send an angel in the middle of the night to put presents under our tree or rain manna from heaven to feed our growing kids. But He did provide all we needed, and He gave us something that was worth more than all those things combined. He allowed us to slow down and truly see people. To receive more of Him and participate in what He was already doing in a way we would not have been able to if we were caught up in the materialism and chaos that Christmas so often becomes.

 

In the middle of feeling we had nothing to give, God opened our eyes. When my sister’s Denali had to go to the shop we were able to let her borrow our old Dodge Caravan since we only needed one car. We were able to go to a cold weather shelter and feed, serve and relate to people there in a new way. He awakened us to how we regularly chose busyness over people, entitlement over humility, selfishness over generosity, Bible studies over Biblical living, significance over sacrifice, the American Dream over contentment. When face to face with the reality that we could lose all that we had, we found true contentment. We realized that no one could take away the one thing that mattered more than anything. Jesus came to Earth, suffering in a greater way than we will ever have to endure, all because He loves us. All that the world has to offer can be lost in the blink of an eye, but the love our Savior poured out for us on the cross is endless.

 

Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. When you are out shopping this Christmas remember we are celebrating Emmanuel. We have the opportunity every day He gives us breath to love the world around us and show them Emmanuel. God is with us. No material thing is worth being too busy for people. No gift is better than the gift of Love that was given to us. Slow down, let Him show you the needs all around you and enjoy giving. You won't believe all you will receive.

 

More of Him.

 

 

Sit Next To Me

The other day my daughter came home from school. As with most days she was full of stories about how other people impacted her and how difficult it is to live life in a world full of hormones and bad decisions. Often these poor decisions affect more than the people who make them, and so often they result in more bad decisions turning into lives broken by the weight of it all.

 

Compassion overwhelms her at times. I can hear it in her voice. I can see it in her face. A heart full of understanding that it could all be different if people would just stop being mean. Today she told a story that could change the course. It should sound familiar to those who have been redeemed and set free. It is what should be considered normal by the people who follow a compassionate God.  It should be the way of a people, the ones who understand that Grace is not earned but is a gift and is meant to be passed on.

 

She had walked into class like any other day but today she could pick her own seat. She sat down and noticed a girl sitting on the floor by herself, her face buried in a book, waiting for the other kids to file in. My daughter asked the girl what she was doing and invited her to sit down next to her. The girl got up and came to take the seat next to my daughter. The girl told her thank you and explained that she was sitting and waiting for everyone else to come in and sit down first because no one likes her to sit next to them. My daughter called her by name and told her, “You can sit wherever you want to and you can sit next to me.” Another girl walked in, and witnessing this, called my daughter a hero. She said the same thing happens to her, too. My daughter invited her to sit down next to them as well, and she let them both know they were free to sit wherever they wanted to.

 

My daughter is not a hero she is a follower. Can you see it? In this moment she followed the one perfect hero who called her by name and told her, “You are loved and you can sit next to me. I saved you a place. Get up off the floor. You are free.”

 

I know once upon a time I was one of the kids that would have been mean to those girls. I don’t deserve that seat. I quite honestly belong on the floor. But I too was shown grace and invited in. We can change the course. We have everything we need. If we just die to ourselves and serve the One who has called us by name.

 

 

Skinny Jeans

Skinny jeans don’t make the man. Already you are probably thinking, “Finally someone willing to say what I have been thinking for years.”

Not so fast…

What if I said, “Boot cut jeans don’t make the man” or “Khakis don’t make the man”?   Do you still feel the same way?

I think we have a problem...

 

For some reason we label people by what they wear. Right now it seems to be men who wear skinny jeans. Apparently they are being accused of either trying to be “cool” or “hipster” or they are accused of not being “real” men at all. And did you know that these skinny jean wearing hipsters are even being accused of growing our churches? They are being accused of just trying to look cool to attract people to attend church. Yeah. And apparently if you hire a lot of them at your church even more people show up and they start wearing skinny jeans too. It is the craziest thing!

 But what if I told you that under the skinny jeans stands a young man more comfortable in his own skin than the Pope in his robe? What if I told you that under the skinny jeans stands a young man who loves God and loves people and lives to glorify his creator? What if I told you this young man fed the homeless and elderly and cared for the misfits? What if I told you that this young man missed every recess for months to sit with a friend who couldn’t play so that the kid wouldn’t be alone? What if I told you that every day for three years this young man was called a “faggot” just for wearing skinny jeans and that still didn’t make him change because He believes and follows the One who is unchanging?

Skinny jeans don’t make the man and neither do khakis. God looks at the hearts behind all kinds of pants. The love of a Father lived through His sons and daughters who wear skinny jeans, khakis, capris, dresses, ties, hats, shorts, tattoos, piercings, beanies, robes and fanny packs grow His church. Sure, some churches try to attract people to come to church. And so often it is because they genuinely and desperately want to share the Good News and let the world know of God’s amazing love. Other churches bash the ones who are trying to attract people by judging their motives just like the young man was judged for wearing skinny jeans.

The church needs to remember it is the bride of Christ. We are not called to compete, judge, or attract to fill seats. We are to invite people to a dwelling place; a safe place from a world full of labels and ranks. We are to be His glory on display, redeemed by the blood of Christ and resurrected from death to life.  We are a people who have the living God dwelling inside of us. So let us rise up and move, and love, and pursue, and shelter, and reconcile. Go and make disciples however the Holy Spirit calls you to, in whatever clothes you are made to wear. You have been given everything you need in Christ!

 

 

I am not a greeter at Wal-Mart

I once had a manager ask, “Do you feel greeted or do you feel welcomed when you walk into Wal-Mart?” I thought it was a great question. It was a question he had asked to encourage the employees to think about welcoming customers into our retail store, but it made me think. What is the difference between being greeted and being welcomed?

I thought about it and realized being greeted is more in the moment. It is a polite gesture that says, “Good morning” or “We’re glad you’re here,” but it doesn’t go beyond that. Being welcomed, however, is much more. It invites people in. It accepts them. People get a sense that they will be genuinely loved and cared for. When I welcome people I ask open ended questions that should ultimately lead to open ended relationships. I want to get to know them. I want to learn more about who they are. I ask things like, “What brings you in today?” I find out what they are in search of. If I want to know how I can best serve someone I have to ask these kinds of questions. I must be willing to take the time to hear their story. I also need to follow up with people. This isn’t a, “How are you today?” “Fine thank you.” exchange. This is so much more.

I guess that is why I have never been a fan of “greeters” at church. I know that seems so outrageous and you are probably wondering without a welcoming committee how in the world would people feel welcomed and new people know where to go? How would people get information on where to check their children in or where the bathrooms are located? Who would hold the door open for people as they came in and smile politely saying words like “hello” and “welcome”? Do you have any idea who might be able to do all of those things? I am going to suggest something crazy for a moment. I am going to suggest the answer is God’s people.

That’s right! I said it. I mean what would our churches be like if we move from greeters to welcomers? What would our families be like? What would our neighborhoods be like? What would our cities be like? What would our world be like? If we really understood how deep and how wide God’s love is for each one of His people, wouldn’t we live differently? Think about it for a moment. If Christ is in us and we are His glory on display through the work of the Holy Spirit in and through us then I ask, “Is our love deep and wide enough for each person who should walk into a building?” What about the people who live with us? Our children, our spouses, our roommates, our parents. What about the people that live next door or drive the same route to work as we do? Shouldn’t we move towards all people, both the lost and the found, and ask how we can serve them? Or maybe we should leave that up to a handful of people who have the gift of greeting and wear a lanyard. Or worse yet, leave it up to a handful of people who don’t have the gift of greeting and wear a lanyard.

Is it just me or should we not be the ones looking to open the doors of the church for one another? Should we not be the ones looking for how we can serve one another? Should we not be the ones looking to help parents and their children? Not just in checking into classes in a building but helping them find their way through the often overwhelming responsibility of parenting? Do we now need classes for such a thing? Should it not start with dying to ourselves and laying down our lives for the sake of another as Christ did for us?

If we slow down and open our eyes to the people around us could we be transformed from greeters to welcomers? Maybe we could ask open ended questions and respond with love and service. Maybe we could follow up with the people we are in contact with and make sure they have everything they need. I believe we can all become welcomers if we ask God to fill us with His love and His desires for His people. He chose each and every one of us and invites us all to participate it the great work of His Kingdom. All we have to do is say “yes” and we get the great privilege of welcoming for His glory.

No, God did not call me to be a greeter at Walmart. I have been welcomed and now being a greeter will not satisfy.

“Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.” Romans 15:7